Coffee Wars 5: Credits

On this page, we endeavor to do justice to the folks who make CoffeeWars possible. There are a lot of them: staff, judges, participants, and others who help out. Without any of these groups, it's unlikely that there could be a decent Coffee War, and we want to thank them all. By name, where possible. So here we go!


There's no official designation of Coffee Wars staff. It's really just a loose affiliation of people who either assist with the event (and are not judges) or who are judges, but go way beyond just assisting with the event.
  • Shrdlu: Etaoin Shrdlu is the most instrumental force in the production of Coffee Wars. Shrdlu does all the brewing, for example. But beyond that, Shrdlu's involvement includes the acquisition of the shirts, custody and transport of the contest equipment, and overall enforcer.
  • Alice: Like Shrdlu, Alice plays a number of roles. This year, as always, she assisted in Making Things Go Smoothly, whether this involved managing the grinding and brewing order of operations, helping to set up, or simply containing the violent Shrdlu until enough caffiene had been consumed.
  • Madhat: What all can we say about Madhat? He's the maintainer of the web site, our primary liason with the goon staff, and a key part of CoffeeWars operations.
  • Griffjon: Graphic artist and friend of the contest. He wasn't present this year, because he was TOO BUSY living in FREAKING JAMAICA where good coffee grows on... well, let's just say they've got some around.
  • Foofus: Foofus does most of the paperwork (forms, scoring, and propaganda), and co-sponsored the shirts.


The judges are the judgmental group of people who did the judging, using their judgment. Patiently and with great care, they completed their ballot forms, and that's how we got our scores. These people put their nervous, circulatory, and renal systems on the line for all of us, in the name of determining which coffee is best.
  • Shrdlu: Shrdlu is head of the judging staff, in addition to all the fabulous stuff noted above.
  • Dr. Vann Harl: In addition to offering his capable services as a judge, Dr. Vann Harl once again donated the elegant and valuable grand prize. Thanks, man!
  • Gurney Halleck: Once again, Gurney made time away from his job with the Atreides to be a judge. I swear, that guy would fight his way through a legion of Sardaukar to get some coffee.
  • Tim: In addition to passing judgment, Tim had the foresight to bring with him a really good knife, which came in handy at least a half dozen times.
  • Tweakt: CoffeeWars will forever have a soft spot in its plapitating heart for Tweakt, for he was one of the only two contestants in CoffeeWars 3.
  • Lucid: After... how many years was it? After a number of Coffee War plans to be there and help out, somehow Lucid made it this year. And he judged!
  • Rob: Holy crap. Rob Nielsen. One of the original thinker-uppers of CoffeeWars. Having blown us off for a couple years (including a brief visit via cell phone during CoffeeWars IV), Rob Was There This Year.

Other Important Folks That We Honor

The person who actually drove the car for the CoffeeWars gear, and who brought us our brewing water, is not mentioned by name. But obviously, these were important contributions.
  • DefCon Staff: Dark Tangent, Black Beetle, Russ, Pyro, and other goons. They made us an official event, got us table space, put us in the program, donated the elite black badge awarded to our winner, and generally smoothed the way for us. Thank you.
  • Alexis Park Staff: Every year, these folks come through for us, above and beyond the call of duty. This year's urgent need was for a large garbage can with a liner, and (as they've always done in the past) Alexis Park staff delivered the goods. Thanks!
  • Jay Dyson: Even though he hasn't been physically present for the last three CoffeeWars, the contest carries a bit of Jay Dyson's spirit every year. We miss you, man, and we are thinking good thoughts for you: be well.
  • Sweetypig: Without the help of Sweetypig, Foofus would be lost. Also, he wouldn't have been able to enter any coffee. Thanks!
Despite its seemingly limited scope and apparent simplicity staging a Coffee War is a complex and demanding task. Given the number of people involved, and the mental limits under which I labor, it's possible that some key person's contribution has gone unnoticed. If that's the case, I can say only that the omission was unintentional, and that we sincerely apologize. Let us know of the error, and we'll do what we can to correct it.
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