Agent X, with coffee from his favorite coffee shop
won Coffee Wars.
Thirty Five Entries? You people are insane (and so are we)!
The official results are in.
Once more into the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close up the wall with our Caffeine dead.
In peace there's nothing so becomes a cup
As honest coffee, strongly brewed.
But when the blast of war blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tiger;
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
Prepare the brew and drink it up;
Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide,
Hold hard the breath and taste evr'y cup.
Bring them on, Jamaican Blue and Kona all,
The Call For Beans is finally
Now's the time when you have an All-Inclusive Divine
Excuse to unashamedly mingle with your own kind without
having to shroud your activities under the shadow of the Evil Corporate Coffee
Empire! Yes, now we caffeine fiends can gather without
WHAT? You want a shot of espresso?! We got your
shot right here, pal. This event ain't no freebie. If you want
a cup, you gotta pony up. Coffee, that is. Whole bean. We're
judging it all. The best, the strongest, the most caffeinated.
You name it. ...but regular store-bought or corporate coffee
trash will only earn a trashing.
You think you got what it takes? Then we'll take
what you got! Bring your best beans and put 'em up for judgment
by our over-qualified, over-caffeinated, (and over-rated) Coffee
Wars judges and contestant panel! We keep hearing that
someone else's beans are the best. Now it's time to
prove it bean-to-bean!
"If kids today chose coffee over methadone, the world
would be a far better and more productive place."