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Rules For Coffee Wars


No cream -=- No sugar -=- Straight up
  • Do NOT submit decaf.

  • Do NOT submit flavored beans.

  • Do NOT ask questions about registration, talks, schedule, or anything not related to CoffeeWars:
    WE DON'T KNOW... WE JUST WANT TO DRINK COFFEE. And vote on it. Oh, yes. We will vote on it.

  • If you do not enter any coffee, you are not guaranteed a drink. We don't mind sharing, but the judges must be able to do their jobs, after all, so you take your chances.

All are welcome (unless we really, really don't like you). Bring your best java. You may bring a maximum of two entries. There are no guarantees we will get to both, but we probably will. Just make sure you note which one you want tested up first.

We (and by we I mean the Brewing Nazi, Shrdlu), will cook up your coffee, and all who enter are welcome to rate the brew. A form will be provided for each coffee, with several categories. Each category will be a 1-10 scale, with 10 being the Holy God Of Java, and 1 being Starbucks. Scores are averaged (high and low thrown out, traditionally 5 judging sheet minimum are required for a winning coffee to be considered).

The scoring fields....

  • Aroma
  • Flavor
  • Strength
  • Bang for your Buck
  • Overall

Bang for your Buck is described as the following (the others should be self explanatory): Each entry shall have its price per pound listed, and as such, the masses shall determine if this coffee is indeed worth its price tag.

Other than that, there's not much to it. Enjoy yourselves, get wired, and may the best brew win.

Failing that, may the highest bribe to the judges win.

And of course, what Coffee Wars is complete without the consequences of your rule-breaking?

    Offense: What you have brought that we don't like.
    Punishment: What Jay and his guns will do to you.

Offense   Punishment
Store Brand Coffee   Lose one kneecap.
Flavored Coffee   Lose two kneecaps.
Starbucks   Lose both kneecaps, come back after injuries have healed. Lose both knees again.
Decaf   Please leave contact info for next of kin.
Flavored Decaf   Please leave home adresses for all known relatives.

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